Self Care – Choice or Chore?

Feb 7, 2022 | Mindfulness | 0 comments

About a month ago I finished a big project. I was writing then launching my program Growing Younger for 18 months. During all this time, I was very disciplined about my self-care routine. I practiced yoga 3-5 times a week, meditated, and wrote every day in my journal.


Then I finished my launch. My workload eased. You would expect that I would have more time for self-care, right?


Wrong! I was exhausted. All I wanted was to let go. It became much harder to arrive at my yoga mat. I let go of meditation and journaled sporadically. My mind and energy levels became sluggish. 


I knew that my self-care routine kept me inspired and energized, but it felt like another chore that I had to do to feel good with myself. When I skipped another yoga practice, I felt weak and guilty, making me even more resentful.


Self-care can quickly become limiting in the same way a healthy diet is. You know that avoiding sugar, alcohol, and coffee is good for your body, but if your regime is too restrictive, you are fighting against what your body needs and wants instead of supporting it. 

Nature always strives to reach homeostasis. Your body seeks to create a balance between in and out, doing and being. Balance is never a rigid, static condition, but it is an ongoing act, very much like the person who walks the tight wire. It takes a lifetime of training and awareness to be masterful at creating a balanced life. My experience is that every time I feel “O.K, I reached it. I can now relax and enjoy” I fall off the wire. 


Here are some basics tips to help you establish a self-care routine that supports YOU:


Your best friend is YOU.


  • Self-care is, first and foremost, a way to know yourself better. Self-care is individualized, which means that what works for me is not necessarily going to work for you. For one of my friends, self care looks like waking up early in the morning to hike up a mountain year-round (yes, snow and ice yuks!) For me, sometimes cleaning the clutter in my home is a self-care practice as it keeps me focused and calm. Knowing what you need to nourish yourself is essential for caring for you.


Even the fanciest skincare isn’t going to fix your mindset.


  • Self-care is about reclaiming back the power over your well-being. What self-care is not “is one more thing that you have to do.” But rather, it is a way of being or a mindset. If I can ditch the lists (yes plural) in my head of things that I need to do today, this month, or this year and show up with full attention to whatever is happening right now, then it’s self-care. It is asking yourself: “what is it that I need right now at this moment?”


Learn how to say NO


  • Establish boundaries: Some people have a hard time saying no to other people. I have a tough time saying no to myself. There is always a new product that I can create, a new project that I can take on, another workshop that will make me a better practitioner, and so on. Saying no to myself will probably be something that I will struggle with forever. 


Self Care is never selfish.


  • Self-care means literally taking care of yourself. It does not necessarily imply a complicated meditation technique or a restrictive routine. Self-care can look like cooking a yummy homemade meal for yourself, drinking enough water, or getting enough rest. Taking care of yourself gives you the energy and confidence to tackle your day.


Great things happen in small steps.


  • Self-care does not need to be a dramatic lifestyle change or take a lot of time of your day. I know that you are busy. Aren’t we all? Self-care is not about adding more to your plate but finding a couple of moments to stop and release some steam. It does not need to be an hour-long sitting meditation. You can block a couple of minutes between your daily activities to check in on your body, do some stretches, dance, or sing. 


Mostly self-care is mindfully connecting to yourself. Yes! It requires that you slow down, stop multitasking (multitasking is just a myth anyway), and tune in to your sensory input, emotional state, and mental well-being.


Reclaiming your ability to tune in to yourself is essential for your well-being, not just because you will learn what you need to be happy and healthy but also because it is the foundation of any relationship that you take part in. 


Human beings are herd animals. We need each other to thrive. Find your tribe so you can share your wins and losses with other like-minded people. Sharing by itself is a powerful self-care practice, whether you are looking for advice or just for someone to listen. You will most likely find that you are not alone in your struggles.


Keeping a balance between tuning in and being in a relationship with the world is essential for physical and psychological well-being. In today’s culture, we tend to be living outside of our bodies much of the time. We keep a constant state of business in our minds. Self-care is an invitation to tilt back the balance and allow yourself to be. 

Need help with establishing an holistic way of caring for yourself and for your loved ones? Join the inner circle and learn how to care for yourself with food, herbs, and mindful practices.



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Love, Lior

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Disclaimer: This document is for educational and informational purposes only and solely as a self-help tool for your own use. I am not providing medical, psychological, or nutrition therapy advice. You should not use this information to diagnose or treat any health problems or illnesses without consulting your own medical practitioner. Always seek the advice of your own medical practitioner and/or mental health provider about your specific health situation. You can view my full disclaimer here.

Lior Sadeh

My name is Lior and I am the herb grower, remedy maker, and herbalist here on Bee Fields Farm in Wilton, NH. I help women who feel disconnected from their bodies to simplify their lives, improve their health, and feel more grounded.

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